When my friends gather, the conversation frequently drifts to the excessive number of emails that we receive on a daily basis. While we all criticize the volume of messages, we also appreciate the information and interaction that occurs for the enhancement of our daily lives.
Here is an example of something I recently received that provides some intriguing subjects for consideration and contemplation. Don’t worry, because this is not brain surgery, but a good and fun exercise for your cranium.
Do you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to “put your two cents in”…but it’s only a “penny for your thoughts.” Where’s that extra penny going?
Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck for eternity wearing the clothes you were buried in?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put a man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They’re going to see you naked anyway.
Why is “bra” singular and “panties” plural?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human would eat?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!
If Wylie E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn’t he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Do the Alphabet Song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Did you just try to sing the two songs above?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it’s outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it’s in your butt?
Did you every notice that when you blow in a dog’s face he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride he sticks his head out the window?
And the best one of them all…
Do you ever wonder why you gave me your email address in the first place?
I hope this gave you a smile to get through what remains of this beautiful day.
COMMANDER GRANGER
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