A WASHINGTON SOLUTION

Everyday I hear the talking heads in Washington complain that no one is offering any constructive solutions to the problems confronting our government. Well, I have a solution that has worked quite effectively in my household when any and all ills appeared on the horizon.

As a product of the Depression growing up in the Chicago area, my dear departed mother was a Registered Nurse, and whenever my Father or I had the slightest discomfort her solution was an immediate soap-suds enema. Yes, out came the old enema bag and a bar of Ivory soap. My Father and I frequently went running for cover, but rarely were able to outrun the enthusiasm of my mother to solve our maladies.

As unpleasant as the experience was I must admit that it was most frequently the proper solution. Thus, I recommend that we require both the House of Representatives and the Senate gather under the auspices of Vice Admiral Regina M. Benjamin, Surgeon General, in her chambers for a good old fashioned soap suds enema.

After watching the hypocritical utterances of our Senators as they huffed and puffed playing a game of transference against the Goldman Sachs executives, I feel the only solution to eliminate their discomfort and anguish is the immediate prescription of my mom’s old fashioned solution. The end result may have a negative impact upon the plumbing in the Senate Chambers, but it would eliminate a substantial amount of the usual bull excrement. After all, didn't Senator Levin (D-MI) and some others repeatedly use the word "shitty" during questioning of the Goldman execs? Maybe they were truly telling us something.

A similar application of good old common sense is appropriate for the House of Representatives, too. My heavens, can you imagine just what Senate Leader Harry Reid and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi would look like after their treatment? I bet we would not even recognize them.

We all should look to those old proven simple solutions to big problems, and never forget that “Mom always knew best.” Do you suppose that frequent enemas could just solve all our problems once and for all time? Yep, there is nothing like a cleansing to help them finally think clearly.

COMMANDER GRANGER