CHICAGO JOKES - TOO REAL TO BE FUNNY

Your Commander was born, raised and worked for over thirty years in Chicago, Illinois. I am totally embarrassed that my home state has become a national joke due to the long-standing political corruption and abuse that has driven it into near bankruptcy. Newspapers and airwaves are filled daily with stories of one incident after another dating back to the days of Al Capone.

Authors such as Carl Sandburg (“…City of big shoulders…And they tell me you are crooked and I answer: Yes, it is true…) and Studs Turkel (“Chicago is not the most corrupt American city; it’s the most theatrically corrupt.”) wrote extensively about various elements that make Chicago, Chicago. Now the internet is filled with jokes making Chicago’s well known history even more embarrassing. Here is a typical one:

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House.

One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Minnesota.

All three go with a White House official to examine the fence.

The Minnesota contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil.

“Well,” he says, “I figure the job will run about $900 - $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me.”

The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, “I can do this job for $700 - $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me.”

The Chicago contractor doesn’t measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, $2,700.”

The official, incredulous, says, “You didn’t even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?”

The Chicago contractor whispers back, “$1,000 for me, $1,000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence.”

“Done!” replied the government official.

And that, my friends, is how the new stimulus plan works.

We now have a “Chicago” White House and the “Chicago way” jokes seem to be endless. And yet, the “Chicago way” seems to have been the White House rule for Mr. Obama’s first two years.

And you wonder why I am embarrassed about the reputation of my old home town?

COMMANDER GRANGER